For a test of his own fortitude the magician brought the biggest, strongest-looking man up on stage to assist him. He handed the man a rubber mallet and told him, "When I put my head down on this block, hit me as hard as you can. Don't worry, it won't effect me at all." The man says, "Okay."

The magician put his head down and said, "Go ahead."

Ten years later, the magician woke up in a hospital from a coma and yelled, "Ta-Da!"

For his birthday, Little Johnny asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd love to give you one, but the mortgage on this house is 80,000 and so there's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father saw Little Johnny heading out the door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"

Little Johnny told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an $80,000 mortgage and no means of transportation.

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room.

He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.

Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.

The doctor asked patient #1 what he was doing. The patient replied, "Can't you see I'm sawing this piece of wood in half?"

The doctor inquired of Patient #1 what Patient #2 was doing. Patient #1 replied, "Oh. He's my friend, but he's a little crazy. He thinks he's a lightbulb."

The doctor looks up and notices Patient #2's face is going all red. The doctor asks Patient #1, "If he's your friend, you should get him down from there before he hurts himself".

Patient #1 replies, "What? And work in the dark?"

IMAGINE THE SLOGAN IF ALL THE BIG COMPANIES START SELLING CONDOMS ?

PEPSODENT CONDOM  - RAAT BHAR DISHUM-DISHUM...

COLGATE CONDOM  -  YE HAI HAMARA SURAKSHA CHAKRA....

MRF CONDOM -  EXTRA RUBBER, EXTRA MILEAGE......

MOOV CONDOM - AH SE AHAA TAK..........

MIRINDA CONDOM - ZOR KA JHATKA DHIRE SE LAGE.......

GODREJ HAIR DYE CONDOM -  KAATO , KHOLO AUR LAGAO.........

SPRITE CONDOM -   BUJHAYE ONLY PYASS BAAKI ALL BAKWAAS........

TATA SKY CONDOM - ISKO LAGA DALA, TOH LIFE JINGA LALA.........

Barber: Sir, Would you mind turning the other side of your face toward me?
Customer: Oh, are you through shaving this side?
Barber: No, but I can't stand the sight of blood.